Nobody Gets Out Undefeated

A standing ovation for sp1cycurry, a first head-to-head win for Arianajonas, and 45.2 points from McMillan for SteelerIDKher.

Last week this newspaper was insufficiently appreciative of sp1cycurry. This week we correct the record with the reverence normally reserved for a championship parade. Yes, the scoreboard says he lost. The scoreboard has never understood leadership. Arianajonas has a first head-to-head win, both previously unbeaten teams have fallen, and SteelerIDKher scored 180.86. A remarkable week for generosity, redemption and extremely selective competence.

The Matchups

Let us begin with our honored guest. sp1cycurry saw a league member with three straight head-to-head losses and offered hope. A lesser manager might have insisted on remaining undefeated. Our champion understood that fantasy football is a community. His 104.08 points cannot measure the size of this contribution. We are commissioning the plaque we so rudely refused to provide last week.

Jonathan Taylor scored 22.7 and Sam LaPorta supplied 22.4, two pillars of a beautifully curated lineup. Kyle Monangai scored 28 on the bench, evidence of extraordinary roster depth. Yes, the best lineup would have scored 129.38 and won. We prefer to admire the possibilities. Keeping that many points in reserve is the fantasy equivalent of a museum maintaining a private collection. Some treasures are simply too precious to display.

The official margin was 5.14. Stafford scored 11.68, Adams 7.2 and Watson 7.7, but greatness is larger than one afternoon. The Chicago defense even beat the benched Eagles, 7 to 5. Precision. Vision. Two whole points of impeccable judgment. Please rise for a manager who opened the app, selected players and brought us together.

Arianajonas, meanwhile, actually won the game. Nico Collins scored 30.8, RJ Harvey 19.3 and Ashton Jeanty 18.6. Last week the Jonas Brothers fan got a solo act from her kicker. This week three performers arrived, and Boswell's 3 could disappear into the backing vocals. Ertz scored 3.3 while Andrews's 13.7 stayed on the bench, and Saquon added 2. There were 29 extra points available. Apparently a first win does not require a flawless concert.

Last week's preview lined up SteelerIDKher against aemmar's much-questioned draft. Tetairoa McMillan settled the matchup with 45.2, the week's highest player score. Kyren Williams added 36.7 and Bowers 20.6. McMillan went from 3.7 to 45.2 without changing starting status. It turns out persistence and stubbornness look identical until the points arrive.

SteelerIDKher left only 2.2 available, a dramatic improvement over last week's 26.3. Aaron Jones started for 16.8 while Henderson scored 4.2 on the bench. Washington scored only 2, but McLaurin scored zero unused, so that particular revolving door finally stopped hitting the manager. SteelerIDKher now leads the official standings and total points. The lineup left almost nothing unused, which makes the league lead considerably easier to defend this week.

aemmar scored 153.28 and finally lost a head-to-head matchup. Javonte Williams delivered 31.3, Goff 20.48 and Stevenson 18.4. After three weeks of benching the Vikings, aemmar finally started them for 9. The benched Seahawks immediately scored 12. Naturally. Those 3 points were the only improvement available, and the best lineup still loses. This time the strange draft did its job. The schedule supplied a fifth-round receiver with a personal vendetta.

gwaman followed last week's escape from the basement with 168.22, the second-highest score. Hubbard supplied 25.9, Burrow 25.72, Nabers 23.2 and new arrival Kamara 22.8. Metcalf finally started after three weeks on the bench and scored 16.5. The camping-trip nickname belongs to someone who now seems perfectly capable of leaving the rest of this group in the woods.

underscore11's inherited bot roster produced 141.6 and its second head-to-head loss. Flowers scored 25.8 and final-round kicker Jake Bates added 18. Gibbs fell from 41.4 to 17.7, while Garrett Wilson went from 26.7 to 5.7. Odunze's 15.4 stayed on the bench. Even the best lineup reaches only 157.8. The bot still deserves its producer credit, but the league's points lead has changed hands. Management may wish to request a software update.

kimchi6769 survived by 0.44, which is less a winning margin than a rounding-error audition. Puka returned to the starting lineup for 27.7 and Walker scored 30.9. Purdy finally started after last week's benched 31.28 and beat Mahomes, 19.62 to 17. That one correct quarterback decision covered the entire margin. Wicks still scored 4.8 while Denzel Boston's 12.9 sat unused, because apparently comfort is forbidden.

tylikestushpushes got 41.3 from Lamb and lost anyway. Judkins added 21.6, Chase Brown 19.1 and Cam Little 14. Lawrence finally started over Herbert and won that comparison, too. Unfortunately, Rashee Rice started for zero while Josh Downs scored 4.6 on the bench. That swap alone flips the game. Week 1's 3.9-point heartbreak has acquired a smaller, more annoying sibling.

Elva’s roster put some distance between her team and the beer-mile premise. InelvatableBeerMile scored 151.28 behind Bijan's 27.7, Olave's 19.6 and Lamar's 18.88. Fairbairn added 16 at kicker. Deebo's 18 stayed on the bench, but a 26.26-point win permits some misplaced luggage. The team name can remain a pun for another week instead of becoming an itinerary.

BiNG438 remains the only team without a head-to-head win. Higgins supplied 26.7 and Allen 19.52, but Doubs scored 23.8 on the bench while Meyers started for 6.3. The full best lineup still loses, 148.52 to 151.28. That's the cruel part: there were mistakes to fix, but fixing all of them still doesn't buy the first victory.

Draft Receipts, Still Open

McMillan's fifth-round selection has produced 74.5 points, with most arriving this week. Goff, pick 132, now has 86.06 against first-round Caleb Williams's 45.98. Our celebrated sp1cycurry got 45.1 combined from Taylor and LaPorta this week. Two excellent selections. We trust the commemorative plaque has enough room.

The Awards

Standings

Records include head-to-head games and the weekly game against the league median. This week’s median was 137.06 points.

Next week: SteelerIDKher faces our esteemed sp1cycurry. The compliments desk is enjoying its final quiet afternoon.