Perfection Comes Without a Warranty

A perfect lineup loses by 35.16, another game ends by 0.46, and sp1cycurry discovers that a win does not renew his compliments subscription.

Last week nobody got out undefeated. This week nobody got a guarantee, either. Two managers submitted perfect lineups in the same matchup, and one lost by 35.16. Elva scored 183.16 and lost. SteelerIDKher scored 161.04 and lost. Elsewhere, 89.3 purchased an entire victory. The league has introduced surge pricing, and apparently the expensive neighborhoods have terrible parking.

The median landed at 160.97. SteelerIDKher cleared it by 0.07. gwaman missed it by 0.07. Please keep that distinction in mind while deciding whether this is a reasonable hobby. Meanwhile, the inherited bot roster has reclaimed the points lead, BiNG438 is still searching for a first head-to-head win, and last week's guest of honor has supplied enough points to make roast week mildly inconvenient.

The Matchups

sp1cycurry won, and won properly. Christian Watson supplied 32.3, Stafford 27.32, Jason Myers 23 and Adams 22.1. Only 5 points were left available. Last week's standing ovation has been followed by the deeply inconvenient discovery that the recipient can actually play. We report this under protest.

That does not renew the compliments subscription. The manager who requires favorable coverage has beaten SteelerIDKher and will presumably submit the box score as a proposed editorial policy. You got a win, not a controlling stake. The commemorative plaque is now a cutting board. The complimentary mint has been recalled. Congratulations on scoring the fourth-most points this week. A perfectly good win, now awaiting the franchise's inevitable request for a parade.

Last week we called Monangai's benched 28 a private museum collection. This week the exhibit scored zero, safely on the bench. The museum has entered its minimalist period. Chicago started for 2 while the Eagles scored 7 unused, the only available improvement. Even the good lineup found one small administrative error to preserve our working relationship.

SteelerIDKher has little room to argue. Parker Washington scored 30.4 after last week's 2, Bowers added 23 and the 49ers defense supplied 20. Tyler Shough scored 1.84 at quarterback, which is less a passing attack than a receipt for one. McLaurin's 12.2 sat while Henderson scored 4.8. Even the best available lineup loses, 168.44 to 176.72. A respectable score, a few points left unused, and an opponent who brought more. The loss needs no conspiracy theory.

kimchi6769 followed a 0.44-point escape with 196.06 and a perfect lineup. Puka scored 37.7, Bucky Irving 31.5 and McBride 21.6. New kicker Will Reichard and the Texans defense supplied 16 apiece. Denzel Boston finally started after two weeks of useful bench scores and added 13.6. Last week's small-print winner has moved into billboard advertising.

gwaman also left exactly zero points available. Nabers delivered 29.1, Burrow 24.6 and Spencer Shrader 21. Strange finally started for 13.8 after four weeks on the bench. Every available decision was correct, and the reward was a 35.16-point loss plus missing the median by 0.07. Group Woman brought the right equipment, followed the map and discovered the campsite had been demolished. There is no lineup lecture here. There should be a refund.

underscore11 scored 189.24, survived by 6.08 and reclaimed first place on points. Gibbs produced 37.7, Likely 32.4 and Evans 26.3. The bot's thirteenth-round tight end just outscored most of the expensive furniture. Credit the human manager for starting Evans after last week's bench appearance. Credit the bot for leaving a roster worth arguing over. The management transition continues to outperform several organizations staffed entirely by people.

There were still 9.3 points available, including Stroud's 20.94 behind Dak's 14.64. Jeremiyah Love contributed 2.2 while Pollard scored 5.2 unused. Winning with nearly 190 permits some untidiness, but this was considerably closer than the total makes it sound.

Elva got 39.46 from Maye, the week's highest player score, and 36.8 from Jaylen Warren. Tyler Warren supplied another 21.4. That is two Warrens and a quarterback doing everything legally required of a fantasy team. Unfortunately, MarShawn Lloyd scored 16.7 on the bench while Waddle started for 4.8. That swap alone wins. InelvatableBeerMile has the league's third-most points and a 5-5 official record. The beer-mile pun is being sustained by scheduling and one very expensive seating arrangement.

Arianajonas won a second straight game by beating the only team that scored less. Egbuka's 17.2 and Swift's 17.3 carried the encore, while Boswell and Hurts each supplied 13. Ertz scored zero with Goedert's 9.8 and Andrews's 4.8 unused. After last week's band reunion, the Jonas Brothers tribute has won a talent show during a power outage. The trophy still counts.

tylikestushpushes lost by 0.46 after losing by 0.44. Two weeks, two defeats, 0.9 points combined. Lamb went from 41.3 to 2.9 while Sutton's 9.8 stayed on the bench. Starting Sutton over Lamb flips this one. Lawrence supplied 22.74 and Chase 19.7, but apparently this franchise has subscribed to heartbreak billed in hundredths. Downs finally started after last week's costly omission and scored 7.7. The repair worked on the wrong leak.

aemmar returned to winning with Goff's 28.94 and Pickens's 28. The Vikings finally beat the benched Seahawks, 11 to 9, so that particular argument can leave the room. Stevenson scored 17.5 unused while Fannin started for 1.4. There were 16.1 extra points available, but the opponent supplied a more accommodating mistake.

BiNG438 is 0-5 head-to-head. Allen scored 31.5, Cook 22.8 and Golden 20.3. Montgomery started for 1.1 while Croskey-Merritt scored 14.2 on the bench, enough to reverse the 7.42-point loss alone. Doubs finally started after last week's benched 23.8 and scored 2.6. The first win was available again. It was sitting down.

Draft Receipts, Still Open

Goff's fourteenth-round ticket has reached 115 points. Watson, taken ninth-round by sp1cycurry, has 109.4. Yes, an excellent pick. No, that sentence does not come with a gold star. Likely's thirteenth-round return is now 85.4, another useful reminder that the inherited bot roster came with accessories.

The Awards

Standings

Records include head-to-head games and the weekly game against the league median. This week’s median was 160.97 points.

Next week: BiNG438 gets SteelerIDKher in pursuit of a first head-to-head win, while aemmar faces the inherited bot roster.