Victory Has No Minimum Score

Bobb Stark wins by 72.1, Ben timover survives by 1.5, and the Clippers become the last unbeaten house.

Last week Bobb Stark lost by 61.28. This week Bobb Stark won by 72.1. That is not a recovery arc. That is a trebuchet. Dippin Darts supplied the landing zone with 48.78 points, nacua matata lost its unbeaten record, and RIP Clippers 2026-2034 became the realm's last undefeated house while failing to reach 100.

SteelerIDKher finally started the Steelers again and posted the week's highest score. The lineup corrections finally came with a convincing scoreboard. Mover of Chains and ICUP, meanwhile, have extended their winless club memberships through a third meeting.

The Matchups

House Bobb Stark emerged from last week's wreckage with Bijan Robinson's 34.3, Joe Burrow's 22.58 and Kyren Williams's 18.8. After losing the Burrow-versus-Baker guessing game last week, they started Burrow again and got it right. Mike Evans's 10.9 still watched Malik Nabers score 5.1, and Isaiah Likely managed 2.3. There are imperfections. A 72.1-point victory tends to make them difficult to hear.

Dippin Darts finally started Jalen Coker. After 40.4 points across two weeks on the bench, he contributed 2.8. Jaxson Dart was dropped for C.J. Stroud, who scored 11.68, while Jordan Love added another 18.48 to his unused pile. The Packers defense scored -2 and Trey Smack kicked in 1. Rashee Rice led the team with 12.3. The perfect lineup reaches only 71.78, still below Bobb Stark's losing score from last week. We have run out of comforting comparisons.

Last week's Kinslayer has reconciled with Pittsburgh. The Steelers defense started for 5, Jake Ferguson finally replaced Tucker Kraft and won that comparison 7.8 to 4.6, and SteelerIDKher won by a reassuringly visible 11.06. Garrett Wilson scored 21.7, Stafford 20.9, Kenneth Walker 20.3 and McCaffrey 19.6. Jaylen Warren added 19.1. That's what a lineup looks like when several people participate.

Moose’s Absent Father set a perfect lineup and still lost. Bo Nix scored 24.14, London 23.9 and Chase 20.3. There were zero extra points to rescue from the bench. This newspaper will happily roast a bad decision, but it cannot find one here. The team showed up, picked its best available players and ran into the week's top score. Sometimes the realm simply sends the wrong army.

Ben timover went from losing by 0.18 to winning by 1.5. Bowers finally started and scored 22.6, while Kittle supplied another 23.2. The two tight ends combined for 45.8, which makes spending pick 31 on Bowers considerably easier to discuss. Lamar scored 20.44 and the Jaguars defense added 17. Bateman finally got the start after last week's benched 18.3 and scored 4.7. The lesson arrived, but the points had already left.

Osama Bin Loveland benched the namesake for Dalton Schultz. Loveland scored 5.1, Schultz 4.5. That change alone wouldn't save the game, but Michael Wilson's 20.4 on the bench instead of starting Matthew Golden's 18.5 would. Love and Cook scored 19.4 apiece, Watson added 19.1 and Lamb 16.7. A perfectly respectable lineup lost a perfectly miserable little game. The name remains an active investigation.

The Sniffers followed last week's league-high score with a 4.82-point win. Purdy contributed 31.28, Smith-Njigba 30.36 and McLaurin finally delivered 16.7 after two quiet weeks. The Patriots defense went from 23 to -1, a 24-point reversal that nearly turned this into a different story. Khalil Shakir's 1.1 also made things interesting. The margin held, and that is the entire legal defense.

nacua matata finally lost with 29.28 points available on the bench. Juwan Johnson scored a useful 19.3 in his first start, but Harold Fannin scored 20.6 after being benched. More painfully, Shough spent a third straight week on the bench, this time scoring 23.8 against Hurts's 12.62. Starting Shough alone wins this one. Puka scored zero on the bench, and Blake Corum started for 2.5. The namesake curse now accepts contributions from the supporting cast.

The Clippers finally let Mahomes out of the Late-Round Quarterback Graveyard. He scored 15.94, immediately losing to Dak's 18.94 on the bench. Henry's 21.4, Adams's 17.2 and the Broncos defense's 14 carried the win anyway. Pitts started again for 1 while AJ Barner scored 9.4 unused. That's three straight weeks of choosing Pitts and getting fewer points than Barner. At 3-0, management has apparently decided the complaints department can remain closed.

Mover of Chains got 16.96 from Allen after last week's 40.82 and stayed winless. Harrison Mevis scored 16 after totaling 4 across the first two weeks, and Luther Burden added 16.3. But McMillan scored 2.7 and Jefferson 4.2. Darnold's 27.66 and the Lions defense's 8 sat while Allen and Seattle's 2 started. Those two swaps almost close the gap. The full best lineup, 109.26, wins. This week there really was an escape route.

Your moms favorite won with 87.24. Cam Ward finally started and scored 9.44, the Texans defense scored 13 and Hubbard added another 13. Deebo's 15.4 stayed on the bench while Montgomery supplied 5.8. Nobody reached 14 in the starting lineup. This wasn't a dominant performance. It was a successful application for the correct opponent.

ICUP got 37.9 from Gibbs and 40.96 from everybody else combined. Maye, the first quarterback drafted at pick 24, scored 3.76. Kincaid managed 2.8 and Worthy 3. The best possible lineup reaches 86.92, missing even this opponent by 0.32. Dicker finally improved to 9, but the rest of the rescue crew was unavailable.

Draft Receipts, Still Open

Love now has 51.76 points without a start for Dippin Darts. Shough has 69.38 without a start for nacua matata. Maye has 21.6 with three starts for ICUP. Bowers finally answered the early-round complaints. The late-round quarterbacks are still waiting for someone to answer the door.

The Awards

Standings

Next week: Dippin Darts gets the undefeated Clippers. The realm recommends bringing more than 48.78.