Everybody Has a Win. Somehow.

Dippin Darts loses by 1.12, the winless club empties, and Bobb Stark keeps the trebuchet in service.

The Clippers have discovered a loophole: apparently you can stay undefeated without reaching 100 points. Dippin Darts more than doubled last week's score and still lost. Both members of the winless club finally escaped, Bobb Stark kept operating the trebuchet, and SteelerIDKher won a game that deserved to end with both managers apologizing.

Week 4 leaves the realm with one undefeated house and no winless teams. This is encouraging news for competitive balance and deeply discouraging news for anyone trying to predict a result.

The Matchups

Last week we advised Dippin Darts to bring more than 48.78. They brought 98.18. Unfortunately, the Clippers brought 99.3. Zay Flowers supplied 21.8, Mahomes 17 and Fairbairn 16, enough for a second consecutive win below 100. The perfect season is being held together with kicker points and unusually cooperative opponents.

After three straight weeks of starting Pitts and losing to Barner, the Clippers finally started Barner. He scored 1.7. Pitts scored 6.2 on the bench. We apologize for suggesting this was a solvable problem. Dak's benched 18.1 also beat Mahomes, but the margin survived at 1.12. The complaints department remains closed, although someone should probably check the hinges.

Dippin Darts got 23.08 from Stroud, 16.9 from Stevenson and 13.6 from Chase Brown. Rice started for zero while Chris Godwin scored 6.1 on the bench. That change alone wins it. New arrival Ollie Gordon also scored 17 unused, and the best lineup reaches 115.08. Last week there was no lineup that could save them. This week there were several doors, and they walked into the wall.

Bobb Stark followed last week's 72.1-point victory with a league-high 158.22 and a 58.64-point win. Kyren Williams scored 31.7, Bijan 27.2, Burrow 23.72 and Higgins 21.2. Nabers finally joined the feast with 20.2 after 5.1 last week. The trebuchet has apparently been approved for regular service. Brian Robinson's 25.2 still sat behind Bucky Irving's 6.1, so the siege could have been worse.

Ben timover's recent margins were 0.18 and 1.5. This one was considerably easier to read. Taylor scored 22.2, Lamar 18.88 and Bowers 17.6, but Henderson managed 4.2 and Downs 3.1. Odunze's 12.4 stayed on the bench. The full best lineup reaches only 112.78. After two games settled by loose change, Ben was hit with the entire cash register.

ICUP has won a game, and Maye was the reason instead of the footnote. The first quarterback drafted scored 26.16, more than his 21.6 across the opening three weeks combined. Judkins added 18.6, Dicker 12 and Waddle another 12. The winless-club membership card has been ceremonially cut in half.

There is still material for next week's meeting. Monangai's 27.5 and Collins's 27.3 both stayed on the bench. The best lineup was 145.46, a 34.9-point improvement. ICUP managed to find a first win while leaving two players above 27 seated. The celebration is deserved. Permission to call the lineup process reliable is still under review.

The Sniffers scored the week's low of 78.12. Purdy supplied 19.62 and Tate 17, but McLaurin followed last week's 16.7 with zero. Matt Gay scored 16 on the bench while Pineiro started for 5. Shakir's 9.7 sat too. Even the best lineup reaches only 100.68 and loses. There were points to retrieve, just not enough to reopen the winless club.

Mover of Chains finally moved into the win column. McMillan jumped from 2.7 to 38.2, the league's highest player score this week. Allen added 18.52 and LaPorta 18.4. Seattle's 12 beat the benched Lions' 3, reversing last week's defense problem. Doubs still scored 20.8 unused while Jauan Jennings started for 1.3. Fortunately, the team had already located enough points to leave.

nacua matata got Puka back into the lineup for 23.2 and lost anyway. Jeanty and Olave added 15.6 apiece, but Swift scored 6.4 and Addison 7.1. Shough beat Hurts again, 15.94 to 13.52, from the bench. This time the quarterback change wouldn't rescue anything. The perfect lineup still loses by 17.68. The namesake has fulfilled his responsibilities. Complaints should now be directed to the other departments.

Osama Bin Loveland recovered from last week's 1.5-point loss behind Lamb's 32.8 and Bryce Young's 21.46. Michael Wilson finally started and scored 13, beating benched Golden's 10.2. The correction arrived one week late, but at least it arrived. Loveland scored 8.7 unused while new starting tight end Darren Waller managed 5.1. The namesake is gradually becoming the solution to a problem the lineup refuses to acknowledge.

Moose’s Absent Father went from a perfect lineup in defeat to leaving 28.1 available in another defeat. Javonte Williams scored 28.8 and Jake Bates 18. Kelce supplied 2.5 while Strange scored 13 on the bench, and Parker Washington's 1.5 watched Vele's 14.4 go unused. Those two swaps together would reverse the 19.4-point loss. Last week there was nothing to fix. This week the repair instructions came with pictures.

SteelerIDKher followed the week's highest score with 94.98 and somehow won again. Walker's 30.4 carried the paperwork, with 14.5 from McCaffrey and 14.1 from Warren. Emanuel Wilson scored 25.5 on the bench. Ferguson started for 2.6 while Kraft scored 13.5 unused. The team left 30.2 available. A win has once again provided excellent cover for a lineup that deserves an inspection.

Your moms favorite left even more: 35.7. Kamara scored 20.3 on the bench while Saquon started for 1.5, a swap that wins the game by itself. Metcalf's 14 also watched Egbuka score 2.3. Hubbard delivered 25.4 and Deebo 15.5, but 80.04 wasn't enough. Last week's successful application for the correct opponent was apparently a single-use voucher.

Draft Receipts, Still Open

Fourth-round McMillan rescued Mover of Chains. Third-round Nabers finally rewarded Bobb Stark. Maye finally defended pick 24. Meanwhile, 12th-round Goff has 86.06 points and still hasn't started for The Sniffers. Even on a redemption weekend, the Late-Round Quarterback Graveyard keeps its visiting hours.

The Awards

Standings

Next week: Dippin Darts meets Mover of Chains, and Ben timover gets a chance to make the Clippers work for win number five.